The slow one now will later be fast...

I sold a guitar this week; It made me a little sick to do it. It doesn't matter which one, just that it was a good one. I have another one, a better one; I'm spoiled in that way, in most ways really. Will says I'll regret it, but I probably won't. This is different for me because I keep most everything that I might need again, not like a hoarder but more like a guy that gets a little too nostalgic, or rather like a guy that thinks he might feel nostalgia for things like this one day. I don't want to miss something. Truth be told though, it feels really good. I never played it and I just sat there as a really expensive piece of wall art for years.

When I got my other acoustic in 2007 it immediately became the only guitar I ever wanted to play. I used to go into shops all the time, since I was young, playing everything I could, even the one's way out of my price range. I haven't done this in the last 4 years. I can't imagine wanting to do this again... and that's because I can't imagine one I'm going to enjoy more completely.

It's freeing when you can't fathom a more pleasing shade of green and you finally get to stop looking, and I'm blessed to have many things in my life about which this is true. A career is not one of these things for me. I'm not unique in this. I've talked to a lot of people with similar backgrounds that have the very same problem. Between a comfortable upbringing, the constant encouragement to "be whatever you want to be," a liberal-arts education that promotes well-rounded individuals with lots of options, and teachers that tell you how, "you'd be good at anything," we're forced to sift through quite the perfect storm of options and second-guessing. I realize that the above description refers to the majority of my peers, but many of them either didn't believe what they were told and became content the their "fate"or did believe it and felt confident enough to set off doing that "anything" that they were able to do.

I know there's no one perfect or holy system of discovery in this, and truth be told I let on that I'm a little more stressed about it than I actually am. God seems to have a way of waiting until I throw helpless, frustrated hands in the air to give me anything that I perceive as help. I can only imagine that this is because someone who believes they can do "anything" can tend to have trouble citing outside sources. Asking for help early and often however, along with forcing a bit more patience than I'd prefer, has actually made for a very enjoyable (though of course still stressful) search.

So I sold my guitar because I found something better... something perfect for me. It just took me awhile to realize I didn't need to try anything else. Now I can stop the search and focus on other things. Now I can really enjoy what I'm doing.

...As the present now will later be past.

picture credit: benjamin evans