no ring!

So I'll have to write here. Being unmarried and in my mid-20's, I find myself saying more than every once in a while, "Well... there's probably a reason she's still not married." And even worse, if I find out that she isn't currently seeing anyone, I assume the worst and she moves to the very bottom of my very short list of potential girlfriends. Are you hearing this? Maybe its my thought process... lets say the girl looks interesting...

she's cute. she has a boyfriend.

she's looking at her phone. she's busy.

is that a bookbag? she's probably too young.

...stop...

she's cute. and probably a little crazy.

are those khakis? she's too old.

is that a DMB sticker on her car? no comment.

is she babysitting her niece? It's probably her kid.

...Stop...

she's cute. and she knows it.

why is she not at work? she's unemployed.

Is that an ID badge? She probably hates her job. I don't always want to be dealing with that conversation.

Apple laptop? trying to fit in.

Dell? lame

Sony? Is sony the new apple?

...wow STOP...

Are you hearing this? As I told a friend of mine this week. The plan is to attempt to flirt with enough girls that one finally pulls the trigger and asks ME out.

she's asking if I'd like to hang out sometime...

...

...

I could never be with someone that liberal in her stance on gender roles.

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I should have this all figured out by the time I'm 26 though, so no worries.

Did you arrive at this place in error?

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Davy had it right

Well the inevitable has happened. I am moving back to Texas. The house was on the market for 5 days and a couple was nice enough to buy it. They were also nice enough to want to close in 4 weeks... effectively sending my life into a turmoil and making myself and everyone around me a little crazy.

Tennessee and I had a good run though, two and a half years, 3 jobs, zero dates, a few good friends, zero dates, maybe 3 celebrity spottings, 12 months of an eye-illness probably brought on by nashville dust, zero dates, I threw up twice, a healthier life outlook, stress over being 25 and single, probably lost 5-6 friends simply due to location and time, too much coffee/vitamins/beer, a half-ironman, a marathon, two HBW+L family reunions, 2 trips to Maine, zero dates, 18 months of school, 12 Wheaton people moving to mid-TN, tons of cute girls(TN cute not TX cute, had to clarify per Nick's request), talked to maybe 3 of them, probably a me problem, 20 or so games of Catan, quit eating pork, zero dates, accidentally ate pork like a week ago, just saw a girl across the coffee shop, I'm gonna talk to her, What if she's the one? What do I have to loose? What if I talk to her and its an instant connection? Would I stay in TN if she's the one? Probably so. Time to make it 4. Ok here goes...

....

....

chickened out. Davy Crockett had it right. zero dates

First things first

Cause who reads a post without a picture, apologies for the language.

Ok so the first thing you should do is jump to my brother's blog and read the entire thing. It's generally better than mine and is certainly worth this "unofficial" endorsement.

After that you're gonna want to check out this "unofficial" promo for a new samples app for your iphone. Cause... it's amazing. If your an American that speaks french and he's saying something horrible... I apologize. If you're a Frenchman that speaks french... I'm just sorry in general.

Next on the list... quit watching LOST. There I said it. The current season has quickly become the most embarrassing thing I watch. I know its sacrilege to say such a thing and to all of those whom I've gotten hooked... Im sorry. (No, I don't know when to properly use "whom" but I went for it) I'm not saying Ill never watch it, I'm simply gonna wait to hear some buzz about the final 8? episodes before I stress over DVRs and completely silent viewing environments. Why isn't Ben cool anymore? Why is Richard as confused as everyone else? And why oh why is Hurley not dead yet???

Stare blankly at everyone that tells you they would watch the tour without Tiger. These are the same people that told you they would still watch "The City."

Watch the few good shows still on TV. For me this is "Modern Family," Phil is the only reason you need. "parenthood" actually pretty good, "Parks and Rec" yeah it's now better than 30 rock, and "Southland" when you can find it. I try to watch The Office, but when there's Always Sunny and Arrested Development reruns on the DVR... you gotta go with your heart.

Finally, ask yourself "Why does this bring me so much joy." I'm not even gonna ask if you think this makes me a horrible person.

Sure you could get all of this info somewhere else... but I condense it for you.